If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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