Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
