the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize