i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
