I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
