You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
