Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
