I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
