it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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