Ambien. No doubt about it.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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