Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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