The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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