just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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