Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
