how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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