I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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