just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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