He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
