Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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