Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
