Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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