Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
