is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize