Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
