dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
