Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My pussy is not your playground.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
