I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
