Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
