too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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