if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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