I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
