I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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