I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
pop tarts are not kleenex
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
