Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
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