I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
