Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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