Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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