my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
