Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
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