I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
