Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
