Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize