it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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