Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
