Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
