I CAN MOONWALK!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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