is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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