My friends, they love my intelligence
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
