God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
