kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
