nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
