I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
