so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
