I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize