I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My dick has a subreddit
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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