I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i now understand why vodka
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
