my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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