When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
