Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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