Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
